Thanks so much for your email. I appreciate you and don't hate / blame you the slightest bit for it, and I fully understand the need to explain to me things. Yes you may not be very good with words ( the gene runs in the family don't you think heh ) but what you needed to convey, you did it perfectly well in the mail, and not only that, you wrote it with such sensitivity and maturity. I think you're an awesome brother, one of a kind who can make me feel so embarassed yet very touched at the same time till I shed tears. I understand where you're driving at, but believe me, I have contemplated about it and all, really I did. At first, I wanted it on impulse, too deluded by the things people say about all the fun and all. Delusion turned to wishful thinking and wishful thinking turned to realization. I realised, it's the same everywhere you go. I'm really proud of you, you know, for being overseas alone yet so disciplined and independent. I wouldn't be able to do that. I shouldn't think just for myself. Yeah, you're right. But the reason as to why I initially had wanted it so badly was because I wanted to get away, get away from the things I mentioned to you at the pool that day. I have a very low tolerance level, you know that, and I know they know what's best, but their approaches are sometimes barely tolerable. Harsh, too harsh for my liking, and there you go, I flared up. What happens next isn't very pretty. When I flare up, I become even more stubborn which in turn make me even more determined and rebellious. I'm sorry for comparing you to me, all the talk about why you're able to go and why I'm not. I can't believe I said those things. Yeah, I'm taking it :) So now, overseas or not, it's up to them, I mean, if I do actually have the chance, I'd take it, but if things don't go too smooth, I won't force it. You probably have no idea how much that mail affected me. It's realy heartening to know that though you're so far away, you still care about how I feel and yet people who are near me are pretty oblivious and nonchalant about it. Thank you for that promise. Thank you so much brother. I promise you, I will study hard.
